A Cry In The Void

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Her hands are shaking, her face is warm. She is about to cry but not just yet.She cannot cry because then the people around her will fuss and make a big deal out of it. Why is she crying? She has everything which a person can ask for. She has a god job, amazing friends and a family. Then why??

She looks around for an opening. She sees the door to the emergency staircase. She rushes there with her head down and walks through it.Siting on the stairs, she lets out a stifled cry. And warm tears come swarming.  Why the tears you may ask?

She cries because she is alone. She feels a void which no one can fill. She cries out loud in the void. Yes she has friends who can comfort her. But if they do comfort her then why does she feel this void? That means there is something left. This emptiness is like tiny pin pricks which she feels now and then .

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Many people in this very confusing world of ours feel this void. They might have perfect jobs, perfect family and friends to die for. Still they let out cries in the void. Not letting anyone else know about it. There are people who are happily married still they cry out loud in the void as there is something missing. It happens. There are times when you feel empty, staring in the void, thinking nothing. Yet the sadness which follows is inevitable. Loneliness is the virus which when attached to you, can’t be shaken off easily. even when you are surrounded by people, you are lonely.

Nobody can hear you. Cry out loud as much as you want. Nobody can hear you.

 

 

 

Frozen Dreams

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We are humans. We tend to dream- thats no news. But what happens to those dreams? Do all of them come true? What about the ones which don’t come true?

In every phase of our lives, we have different dreams .As a child you might dream of flying like a bird or be Superman and save the world. As a teenager, you might dream of being the popular kid in school who everyone loves and follows.  As a grown up, you want to land a good job, earn a lot of money and fame( and also have a gorgeous spouse) .

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But between these big dreams there are tiny ones as well which get lost. I wouldn’t call them “Lost” , I would prefer that they are “Frozen”. A successful engineer might one day realise that even though he is satisfied with his current job and pay, he isn’t happy.  Deep down, in his heart there lies a dream which is frozen . He once had a passion for music, but once the “Rush Hour” life took toll on him along with the family pressure and the ever growing competition, that dream froze . It still sits there , waiting to be unfrozen. There are many people, who after years of service and working, suddenly leave everything and do something totally opposite. That would be going after the frozen dream. Unfreeze it, take it to the next level. Its been sitting there, waiting for a chance.

Few people realise this too late, and a few lucky ones at the appropriate time.  I just want to say that no matter how small the dream is, don’t let it just sit there. If you dared to dream , then at least dare to do something about it. Let it not be too late !! Unfreeze it .

She knows it all

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“Mom, where is my new watch?? I know I kept it here somewhere.” 

“Mom, there is this boy I like. Please tell me what to do.” 

“Mom, I am having a party for some friends. Please tell me how to arrange everything, the food , the music and all.” 

“Mom, I told you not to come to my room. Please don’t touch my stuff!!!!! ” “By the way, you cleaned my room. It actually does look better( embarrassed ) ” 

“Mom, I hate my friends. Nobody understands me . I don’t have anyone. You know what I am talking about right? ” 

All our lives, we ask our mothers several questions. And astonishingly, she always has the answers. She never fails us . No matter how tuff we try to act, how independent we try to be, we always end up asking our mothers for help or advice. She knows it all. If you can’t do anything or find anything, she will definitely know . If you hide anything, she still knows. She is your mother.  You are a part of her. How can she not know? 

It scares me, thinking that one day when I become a mother, will I be half as good as my mother? I better be!!!!! But if I am not, I know where to turn for help. “Mom, can you please help me become a better mom to my kids!! “

She knows it all. 

 

Just Pause!!

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It has been a hell of a month. I am at the cusp of two worlds right now. I completed my Post Graduation and now I am about to step into a brand new world- The Real World. Start a job, start earning , paying taxes and managing the household. Wow!!!!! From being a carefree student living in the university with nothing to worry about but the assignments and friends and love lives it’s a drastic change. 

This situation makes me wish I had a remote control for life. So that for once I could just PAUSE. Freeze the moment right there. I realised that when we are having the time of our lives , we don’t actually realise it. Only after that time is gone and we are in a totally different timeline and scenario do we realise , “Damn, those were were the times !! ” 

If I could just pause for a while to soak it all in. To soak all the happiness, the carefree attitude and the innocence.  Soon, stepping in the real world, things will get too real. Life will get messy. And I am sure I wouldn’t want to pause then. So for now, JUST PAUSE !!!!! 

Let It BE

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Listening to one of the most beautiful songs ever written by The Beatles – “Let it be”, my mind began to race. I started thinking!! (Yes, I do that a lot)

My heart started beating fast. It was a rush. I had a sudden flashback of whatever bad happened in my life in my past  in a few minutes. Like a movie fast forwarded. Then came the turn of the events happening at present in my life. Some pleasant ones , some , well not so pleasant. They also flashed right before me and vanished. Then came the worry I have for the future. Questions like, “What next is waiting for me out there?”; “Who is the next person waiting to shatter my heart yet again?”; “Where will I be ?” ; “Where do I want to be?”; and so on.

I had the song on repeat. So it kept on playing. Listening to Sir Paul McCartney singing, “Let it be, let it be.” sort of gave me an insight. Let it BE!!!!! People come and people go. You lose them but in some way or the other, they lose you too. They might not realise it but they do. So let it BE.

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There are so many other things to invest your energy in rather than worry about stuff which has already happened. Stuff which is already happening, well you can’t stop it either. And the stuff which is going to happen, well you just can’t do anything about it other than hope for the best and work hard to get what you really want.

Apart from that, LE IT BE. Sit back,  breathe in and breathe out.

 

 

Losing Grip

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Darkness encloses,

There is nothing I can do.

I am losing grip,

My fears are coming true.

Its piling on,

one after the other.

Its getting harder to hold on,

I am drowning further.

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I am losing grip,

What can I do?

There is nothing to hold on,

My fears have now come true!!

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The Healing Process

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When a child falls down and hurts his knees. Its painful. His knee is bruised . But more from the inside than the outside. It leaves a blue -black mark and nothing else. The skin on the surface is smooth. What happens then? 

In the next few days , the child forgets about the bruise. Apart from when someone touches the space around it because then it hurts a bit but is bearable. And if someone accidentally touches right at the spot, the pain just shoots up!!!! It takes time to heal. It does heal in a few days. But the process is something which made me wonder, our lives too undergo the same kind of phenomena. 

We come across many relationships in our lifetime. Certain ones just leave bruises which cannot be seen on the surface but go deep within. Even the blue-black mark isn’t there in some cases. And the healing process, well it ain’t easy!! The people who leave those bruises, they sometimes come back, they play around the bruise a bit, causing minute jabs of pain and then another sharp one right at the centre and are gone again.  Leaving the process to be started all over again. 

People say “Time heals all wounds” . True!! But the process is not a bed of roses !! 

 

Laters 

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