For months now, I have been going on and on about the Indian Weddings. How everyone reacts, feels and goes about with the customs and “traditions” .
I also know I have been off the grid lately but I have a very reasonable explanation for the same. The final countdown has begun!! The wedding everyone has been preparing for around me is in its final phase. Final touches are being given to everything. Final checklists are being prepared and finally I can see everyone losing their cool now and then. Also, did I mention the wonderful concept of ” wedding jitters” which every bride feels a few days before her wedding? It is indeed a feeling which has no measure. It can make you nauseous, make you rip someones’ head off, make you so emotional that you bust into tears even on the most silly things , and makes you love your family and friends more than ever.
The poor groom has to forget his “jitters” in order to make the panicking bride feel better and safe. He does so much just to make sure she is happy in the marriage. Hats off to the groom for this . Indeed, this is the time when the bride knows how much the groom loves her and how much he is doing for her and everyone else just so that no one is upset. Be it the bride, the parents (both bride’s and the groom’s), or be it the relatives he has never met before. He keeps everyone happy.
Weddings aren’t that bad after all. They bring out these emotions with bring people closer. It also makes a few people crazy, but yeah, lets just focus on the good part today. It’s a huge step for the bride , a new life altogether. It’s all a part of life I guess. Change is inevitable.
On this note, I shall take leave. I have to do a bit of panicking myself. Oh, did I mention that I am the bride this time??!! It is the final countdown for this bride now.
Shopping, shopping and shopping!!!! That’s what we hear the most in a wedding house. The aunts want to shop, the uncles have to pay. The kids want to shop, the mom’s have to pay. It goes on and on. The wedding industry sure never goes out of business, no matter what the economy is!!
I have been busy for the past few weeks and I apologise. But I have a very reasonable explanation for it- I was busy shopping!! You see, marriage is not about two individuals promising to be a part of each other’s life. It’s also about buying ridiculously expensive stuff in the name of marriage. You buy everything new. Even the stuff you hardly ever use or maybe never use. It’s all about shopping. The bride buys everything new. Her entire wardrobe is new. Everything from her hairpin to her slippers, her toothbrush to her floss!! I mean, that must cost a fortune to tell you the truth and the parents are more than happy to spend all of the money. Their happiness lies in buying their daughter everything. Love is communicated in various ways in Indian marriages. Buy gracing your head and giving you a ten rupee note, or by buying you all the shit possible in the mall!! It’s all love.
I used to never understand the concept of gifts in marriages until I saw how happy the parents or relatives get when they gift their daughter something. I used to be of the mind that it is a sheer waste of money and resources, but then it hit me that sometimes you have to let go off the practicality and let the others do what makes them happy.
So, ending on a happy colourful note here people . I need to go shop more !!
Weddings are all about numbers. Oh, and also family and relatives and all those other aspects. But first and foremost NUMBERS!!
How many people will attend the wedding? How much are you spending on the preparations? How many gifts are you joining to get?
And Indian weddings- how many gifts is the bride going to take along with her? How much jewellery is she taking? What is the cost of her attire? The number game goes on and on. I mean, the more the numbers, the better the status(supposedly).
Oh, and was it mentioned that amongst all of this , the bride and groom are just silent spectators, siting and looking pretty. Their parents do everything but don’t forget that they do complete the formality of “asking” their kids regarding decisions . For example, “Son, we are doing this . You are fine by it, right?” , asks the father with a look which might pierce through the son’s skull. And the son nods and acknowledges the same.
This is an on going process. Relatives, neighbours, friends, everyone is on superhero mode when it comes to weddings. They have the wedding preparations on their minds round the clock. It’s what makes them happy. It’s like the next big thing for them. Behind all the turmoil of the preparations is the love of the family and friends for the bride and the groom which is somehow hidden due to the pressures of the surroundings.
There are two sides to every story. This is the wedding story!!
As you are all aware that the hot topic on my blog currently is Indian Weddings, I am going to throw light on more areas which are going to take some people by surprise and some are going to get an epiphany on the same.
Were you aware of the fact that the most dangerous of all the species in Indian Weddings are the aged Aunts?! You need to always keep your guard up when around them. Reason ?? I will elaborate on that. Weddings are an arena for the aunts to either look for young, rich, handsome bachelors for their daughters/Nieces and the likes. If not that then it is an arena for initiating uncomfortable talks with young married couples to start a family aka “have a baby”. Aunts like twisting the simple traditions into a web which will make you do a simple ceremony in 10 different ways leading to the same outcome. But you will have to go through the various tasks just because the aunts are senior citizens and you don’t want to upset one. It won’t be a lovely sight if you do.
All over the world, it is a known fact that Indian weddings are so colourful. Sure they are, no doubt about that! But did you know how much of crap a person has to deal with behind those colours. First of all, there is not just one ceremony in Indian weddings. There are like a series of ceremonies, functions and rules to follow. i shall pour light on all the functions one by one later, but for now lets focus on the numbers. Atleast 4 functions back to back. That means, 4 sets of decorations for each, 4 sets of ridiculously expensive clothes for each and 4 sets of extremely heavy , larger than life photo albums for each!!
The brides parents lose their sleep, as it is their nightmare if even a tiny cog is missing and is noticed by the grooms family. Its more like an inspection by the grooms family rather than a marriage. I mean, way to go for extending your family ties. The months which the brides parents prepare for the wedding, the house is inflammable. Even a tiny spark can create a fire with no bounds. Even the bride knows not to interfere with the parent, relatives and their plans. Let them do their stuff, the brides job is to go to the salon regularly, spend a copious amount of money on bridal packages for 2-3 months and look pretty.
That is another sneak peak I gave you on the “Desi Weddings” in India. More updates later on. I have certain tasks to complete for the wedding!!
For those of you who do not know how Indian weddings are, this might be a new concept altogether. But for those who know what exactly Indian wedding are, you will surely side with me(atleast most of you will ).
Weddings in India are not just a girl and a boy getting married, it includes the entire family, distant relatives, family friends, friends, neighbours, relative’s neighbours, the entire street and half the city getting married on the same day.And then people say it is a “Private Affair”.
Preparations starts well in advance, just like any other wedding in the world. That is normal. What is not normal is that more focus is given to the guests than the actually family of the bride and the bride and the groom are not allowed to see each other much. Money is spent more on the relatives and the likes rather than the bride herself. In India we have a season for weddings. So it is a business boom for the wedding industry. Why use normal roses when you can get them “Imported” from some other city which will cost you thrice than the usual. Why gift local dry fruits when you can get the “imported” ones from another country.
What I fail to understand is, how will the other person know if the cashews are from my own city or from Vietnam. Well, I do understand the status issues, but come on!!! CASHEWS!!! Do you people know how much of time and money is wasted on just deciding which cashwes are to be ordered. And that is just the 1st thin crust layer of the triple decker cake I am talking about.
India is a country of a variety of cultures and full of traditions. This is what is most appealing in our country; the culture , heritage, history and colourful traditions. But did you know that half the traditions done in our weddings make no sense. They are not standard traditions. The same society people have ten ways of following these same kind of tradition. So what will the common man do? How should he follow the tradition so that everyone goes home happy?!
Sigh! As I said, this is just the 1st thin crust layer of the triple decker cake I am discussing about. More of it later. I have a wedding to prepare for!!
For all those worker bees out there, I totally relate to how the days go in a flash and you have no idea how! How days, weeks , moths pass and you have no idea what you have done with your life except “work” . That desk job you have, it ain’t your dream. If it would have been your dream you would have been living every moment of it. So this has been established that 90% of the people around the globe detest their jobs.
Also, most of you have bosses as sweet as the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland. So you get the picture. When we all know all these things, why am I writing this post?
Well, I am undergoing ilk emotions like the rest of you.I too have a dream. It might seem impossible. Everyone thinks their dreams are impossible and nothing can be done. Well, if you brood over it and never believe, thats what is actually going to happen. Show credence to whats important yo you. What drives you and your soul. Its the impossible that will one days ave you. The rut you are in, it will be replaced by something so powerful that your mind will be racing all day and you will be happy about it.
It ain’t easy to just leave everything else and follow your dream, but I do not suggest that either. I would rather say, keep your dreams in the loop all the time so that you may improvise. Have faith. Credence is the key !!
“Where is my life going ?? ”
“How did this happen suddenly? ”
“Where did this come from?”
We all have had moments where we have used statements like these. We also know that life is highly unpredictable. Even though we know that things will never remain the same, that change is inevitable, we react to circumstances when they come out of nowhere and hit you in the gut!!
I haven’t been around much. I have a long way to go, but the alacrity with which I change the emotions and settle is slowing down. How much can a human being take ?? And I am not just talking about myself. People all over go through changes. Life changing moments which are good and bad. It is how we take them and resilience that shape us. Love changes us for good.
A billionaire never knows when the market falls and he is on the street. A pilot never knows when the weather hits the peak and there is no survival. A mother never knows when she will see her son again when he goes for war. Each and every entity in this universe is unpredictable. All we can do is stay strong, keep faith in ourselves and keep our loved ones close. We all have anchors in our life which keep us from drowning and losing ourselves in the ocean of stressful unpredictability.
Hang on to your anchors.
When a child is born, we all wait for his first step. We record it on cameras, in our minds , freezing that moment forever. It’s the first step which is the most important one, which counts the most.
In life, when we are in a conundrum about making decisions, it’s only a matter of time when we reach a conclusion and take the first step to apply the same. The first step is the hardest I would say. Having that dauntlessness to take the first step when the others are still wondering, contemplating the risks is the most brave thing.
When we start a new life with someone, two people are at the same point. How will they grow close until and unless someone takes the first step? After the first step, life just goes on a roll. You love someone, don’t sit around waiting and contemplating. Sometimes being capricious can have its perks .Take the first step, it can change your life.
Be it careers or personal life, once the first step towards a new journey is taken,you are on a roll my friend. New adventures and new stories.
It’s just a matter of that FIRST step!!
We all worry about the future. What is tomorrow going to be like? Some of us are a 100% sure. They have it all planed out since the starting. Then there are others, like me, who have a vague idea as to what their tomorrow should be like but somehow it gets murkier by the second.
Obfuscated tomorrows are what make my future. Is it bad?? Well,I tend to believe that there is a majority of people like me out there who have no idea as to what is their tomorrow going to be like. The species who miraculously do have an idea about the same are very rare to find(not saying that they don’t exist as I have examples in front of me already) .
All I am saying is , don’t be disconsolated by the fact that you can’t see what your tomorrow would be like. Maybe, its for good. Maybe, there is something better to come. Maybe, you get a chance to shape it the way you want at your own pace. Future is frightening,I agree. But all the good things take time to come. So maybe this murky tomorrow might hold a better meaning than we think and gives us the limpidity we need.
“Good things take time to come”
We have heard this phrase so many times. And a pessimist like me would just think it as absurd. I used to believe that these things don’t happen in real life. But, at this precise moment, I am glad that I am proven wrong.
It is now my belief that after all the hardships that a person goes through, it pays off in the end. The tears are replaced by the light of hope in the eyes. The fake smile is replaced by the grin which doesn’t leave your face all day. Thats when you know you have found your lotusland.
You are content. You are happy. But again, I must mention for all those pessimists out there, the happiness is here to stay . You deserve it. You may think that soon this happiness will vanish and replaced by more sorrow. But it ain’t the case. Look in the mirror, smile and say to yourself that “I have found my lotusland. I am finally happy. It is here to stay. All my dreams are going to come true and there is hope for more to come.”
I say this as I have been through the “good times never come” phase. But this caprice is the result of me finding my own lotusland. I hope you find yours soon.