Tough Love

Ever since I was a kid, I have seen that my parents, especially my father,never coddled me. In fact, not even a little bit. I remember being frustrated by the fact that if I fall down while skating or I hurt myself doing something else my father used to get angry that I don’t take care of myself rather than rushing towards me and coddling me. In an argument if I started to cry or if something major happened with me in school and I shed tears my father would get angry and he would ask me to be tough and not just an ordinary little girl who cries now and then.

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When I needed help with something, be it a school project or be it while I was staying in a hostel away from him, he made me do it all by myself. He would be available for me all the time, but he would never directly help me. He made sure I did it all by myself. I was always angry that other kids don’t have to do anything, their parents lay out everything for them on the table and here I am running errands for myself. But now that I have grown up and have a new born of my own, I am so glad that my father made sure I do everything on my own. He made me independent and confident. He never smothered me with blind love. He made me strong. He did not lead the way but neither did he leave me alone. That is all I want for my own child now. Tough love made me the woman I am today. Its not that he never loved me. It is his love for me that made me a fiercely independent  woman today. As fate would have it, my husband is exactly the same as my father in this department so I have no worry for my child !

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Stereotyping the Alpha Males

We humans have a tendency to complain a lot. That includes me as well. Any event that takes place in our lives and which doesn’t go your way , we end up complaining about it rather than doing anything about it 90% of the time.

Look at the gender discrimination around us. We women complain that men are dominating, that men behave life the Alpha of a wolf pack, that its a patriarchal society. But who made these rules? Who made these men believe that they are the Alphas? We DID!! We all did. We stereotyped men and women without even realizing it in the first place. And now we complain about it.  We women are called the weaker sex for example, we call our male family members/friends if we have a flat tyre. We don’t get out in the night without the company of a male friend and so on. I agree that physically we may not be as strong as our male companions but that doesn’t make us the weaker sex. Its just a matter of muscle strength. Leaving that aside, we are equals. There are woman excelling in every field sans the discrimination. But still, it is us who has stereotyped these alpha males.

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We make our dads sit in the centre chair of the dinning table because he is the head of the family. Why isn’t the mother the head of the family? After all, she is the one feeding us the hot meal served on the table. And who gave the right to these alpha males to think that they own their female counterparts. We read about husbands and boyfriends hitting their woman. Where does this come from? They have this internal sense of superiority that makes them raise their hands on the own in front of them who takes all their shit and still stays with them. It is us who has stereotyped these alpha males into being who they are.

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“He is a man, he is bound to behave this way”

“He works hard all day and hence he is frustrated so don’t mind if he takes it out no you”

“His ego is hurt because his wife earns more than he does”

We must have said or heard the above mentioned lines dozens of times not realizing that by saying or hearing such things and agreeing to them we are widening the gap between the genders which will not be easily reversible. This is the sad truth which entails the gender discrimination.

 

The Real Superheroes

First of all, a grand salute to all the woman of this world. Be it from any country, economic background and all other demographics. Its astounding how you do what you do.

After becoming a mother recently I realized what we are actually made of! Giving birth to another human being, making that tiny human from scratch and nurturing and caring for the child even before it is born, now that is marvelous. What follows after is more amazing. All mothers go through this, but only after going through it by myself did I realize its true essence. The sleepless nights, the exhaustion and the constant worry for your child. I think now I will always worry for my child till my last breathe. It has made me realize how much I took my parents for granted. Just like all the kids I thought my parents were just normal but now I know that they are super parents. Just like all parents, they too sacrificed so much for me. My mother is a super mom. She never stopped taking care of me, even now when I have a child of my own, my mother is there to take care of me. Now I know how she gets the strength. Its being a parent that makes you this strong.

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In this new phase of my life, I am just juggling through the days. I have to take care of my baby, my family (including in laws), study and keep the home clean and a happy place. Phew!!! I don’t know how but I do manage to do most of the things I mentioned. The baby is my priority, but I also have to take care of others, take care of my own studies and still manage to stay up at night for my princess( yes, I have a baby girl). And I am not trying to sound too great as I know almost every other mom does this every day.  I am just acknowledging this for everyone, not just myself that what a great job all of you are doing out there. I feel tad bit bad that it never dawned upon me before.

Trying to do it all and yet surviving each day and keeping your family happy and healthy, all you mothers out there are the real superheroes. Much love to all of you.

Being a Woman

Now a days words like “feminism”, “heforshe” are trending a lot everywhere( Facebook, twitter, etc.).There are debates on this topic , lengthy articles and essays written so well describing this concept  and explaining the need for gender equality.

I am an ordinary woman. I am no Emma Watson standing to give a speech in front of the UN or some world renowned best selling author. But even I have an opinion. I also have a voice which I would like to raise.

Being a woman isn’t easy. Be it anywhere in the world. The women and the society have a tumultuous relationship. There are rules, there are certain ways a woman should behave, certain protocols followed only by woman. Being a woman has added responsibilities for sure. From giving birth to a child, raising it, being responsible to take care of the entire family to sacrificing everything for them, being a woman isn’t easy.

Talking about the corporate world, if a woman is being assigned a task, people already make assumptions. “She will screw it up”, ” there will definitely be errors in her work”, “she takes a lot of leaves as she has a child at home” , ” she is too emotional, she won’t be able to handle the case well”, and so on. I am sure all of us have been through this ordeal. I certainly had during my short tenure in the corporate world. And having to report to a female boss makes people scorn a bit( again, its my opinion). Having to go through all of that and them come home, prepare a meal for your family, make sure the kid completes his homework and the husband complains about his work and the in-laws are satisfied with the dinner isn’t a cakewalk. Being a woman isn’t easy for sure. People are prejudiced that women don’t make good anything except being homemakers. Why is that ? Movies are branded as chick flicks as it is prejudiced that only women will like such movies. Why is that ? Women also watch action movies. They also watch sports. Women even play the same sport as men, still people don’t watch women cricket leagues, or women basket ball as much as mens basket ball and cricket. Why is that ? I can go on and on about this not-so -good attitude that people have adapted in our race.

Gender equality is one of the major concerns now. All woman need is respect which this society is unwilling to provide. There are woman CEOs, doctors, army personnels, yet women are looked down upon. In our society, a woman has the added responsibility of family. Any woman who wants her career and her family has to  walk through fire it seems to keep it together. Indian society in general has to change this attitude in order to keep going.

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Being a woman is not an easy task. Here I am talking about being a woman whereas our world here has forgotten about being  human. There are men killing men, children, woman alike. There are explosions of hatred and pools of human blood everywhere. The human race is losing the humanity and the gift of life given to us. Being a woman is tuff but so is being a human.

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I am an ordinary woman and I too have an opinion. I will try my best and give my share to society. I will try to bring a change no matter how small. One drop at a time. There will be those who will laugh at my post, there will be those who won’t even read it, but there will also be those who will absorb what I am trying to say here and there will be those who might try to have an opinion too. Every opinion and every thought and gesture counts. respect the own round you, be proud of the woman in your life, encourage them and love them. The positivity can do wonders.