The Indian Girl

You see her from a distance and you know she is Indian.

Its in her features, her stance.

The way her eyes look at you,

The way her dark hair dance.

The rainbow coloured bangles in her arms,

The kohl which makes her eyes mystic.

The shyness she shows,

Yet the confidence in her pose.

She is loving , caring.

Family values being her priority.

But there is the fierce fire in her,

Which can show people who is the supreme authority.

The Goddess of love and wisdom,

War and peace.

She is the Indian girl,

There ain’t nothing she can’t appease!

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The point of it all….

I have often heard people expressing out loud, “Whats the point of it all?”

I mean, true, they are all exasperated at the moment and their feelings include ripping at someones throat like a hungry zombie, but , what is the point of it all? You waste your energy in being angry, expressing concern for a question which has no answer. Ponder over it,what can possibly be the answer for- “Whats the point?”

Like,hey!! I studied all my life. I am now a corporate slave. I work 9-5 througout the year. I have no life left. Whats the point of it all?

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What can you possibly reply? I would really like to have the answer to that as my curiosity takes the better of me. So does everyone out there who has an existential crisis. There are some people who have dozens of degrees and do nothing , there are people who have only one, yet they do something spectacular with their lives.

Then again, there are humans who actually have answers to everything, including this. They will tell you acutely why they did what they did and how they achieved the things they desired to achieve. I must meet those humans!! They are the go-to people.

However, I personally feel that we should continue doing what we do while parallely figuring out the point of it all.

Stranger in the Mirror

” Its all about perception” said my psychology professor in my class where half the students were dozing off. I mean, obviously, if you sit in the lecture hall from morning till evening, thats what happens to you without a doubt.

This was almost two and a half years ago but I still have a recollection of the concept of “Perception”. A lot changed since the time I was in that lecture hall till where I am siting today typing on my Mac siting in the comfort of my home on a rainy day. Not to mention, since the time I was a college going student to now being a married woman. (Yep!! A lot of change.)

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I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes its hard to believe its me !! I am sure many of you must have had the same experience. Its like a stranger in the mirror looking back at you. Just a while ago I was a childish, carefree college going girl and now here I am running my own house, taking care of my entire family. How did that happen? I do not recognise the strange woman in that mirror. Do you sometimes look at yourself and do not recognise who that stranger is staring back at you.

I am sure just a while ago you must be the most popular kid in college and now you are a corporate slave, dark circles beneath your eyes, suit cladded with a 9-5 job and no life whatsoever. I am sure just a while ago you must be an upcoming designer and the stranger staring back to you is a mother taking care of three children and a husband , everything else forgotten.

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But again, you cannot be the most popular kid all your life, you cannot have all our old dreams come true when you overlap them with new ones. A corporate save is what the kid wanted to be to run his family, an amazing mother is what is keeping her family together and happy.

Its all about perception!  So accept that stranger in the mirror.

 

 

 

Princess to the Queen

Every girl born is the princess to her parents. “Daddy’s little princess” as we have all heard girls mentioning themselves numerous times. And its true. A girl born is a blessing. Girls are sweet, innocent, sensitive, yet strong and empowered.

Every father, no matter the king or the peasant treats his daughter like a princess. Her every need, her every cry is priority to him. Fathers might get angry too, shout and scold them too but it is out of pure love and care. Every girl is unique in her own way and every princess is her fathers precious gem. They raise you with utmost love and affection, protecting you from the big bad world, not letting you know the vicissitudes that occur in order to raise them. Then comes a time when the father gives away his princess in marriage. That is one hell of a job, I still don’t know how they muster the strength to do so. But they do , with their head held high for the daughter they raised so perfectly and with so much care. The princess finally leaves her castle, only to go in another one.

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It’s the job of the husband now to make her the queen. The princess is given responsibilities she had seen only her mother do all these years, she is given the authority to make decisions, to rule certain areas in the house. She is expected not to make mistakes and be perfect from day one. To succumb all the pressure, newness and do it all in one go- perfectly. Once she does that, the princess finally becomes a Queen. She has crossed that line and come on the other side, the “Real World” where not everything is hunky dory all the time as opposed to what the princess was used to.

Every girl makes this journey from princess to being the queen , a proud moment for the parents who raised her. Hats off to all the queens out there!!

Everything at once

There is a song by Lenka, “Everything at once“. Listening to that song made me realise that “Damn right, I do want to be everything at once” . Then I was hit by the fact that am I the only one weird enough to think on these lines or are other people also with me?!

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Since childhood, I wanted to be good at sports, academics, an all rounder. Well its safe to say I somehow managed that in my childhood. Adulthood is an entirely different universe. When you adult, you are under the microscopic eye of everyone. Even the ones you met for the fist time and might never meet again. Being an adult marks you as the chosen one to be judged, criticised and praised.

I want to do wonders at my job, I want to be a good wife, an excellent daughter-in-law, sometime in the future an awesome super-mother( just like my mother) and so on…. the list is vast. Well, isn’t it a human tendency to be greedy. To want more and more and all of it. I always strive at being everything at once. There are times when I even achieve it. Also there are times when I spoil everything at once . You must have felt it too. The urge to do everything right. To be good and kind, yet smart and sly. To be calm and mature yet turbulent and childish.

I guess it’s not just me (huge relief). Lets all strive to be , if not everything, most of everything at once .

Anchors

“Where is my life going ?? ”

“How did this happen suddenly? ”

“Where did this come from?”

We all have had moments where we have used statements like these. We also know that life is highly unpredictable. Even though we know that things will never remain the same, that change is inevitable, we react to circumstances when they come out of nowhere and hit you in the gut!!

I haven’t been around much. I have a long way to go, but the alacrity with which I change the emotions and settle is slowing down. How much can a human being take ?? And I am not just talking about myself. People all over go through changes. Life changing moments which are good and bad. It is how we take them and resilience that shape us.  Love changes us for good.

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A billionaire never knows when the market falls and he is on the street. A pilot never knows when the weather hits the peak and there is no survival. A mother never knows when she will see her son again when he goes for war. Each and every entity in this universe is unpredictable. All we can do is stay strong, keep faith in ourselves and keep our loved ones close. We all have anchors in our life which keep us from drowning and losing ourselves in the ocean of stressful unpredictability.

Hang on to your anchors.

Writing can heal

The medicine for me that is writing !!

Cristian Mihai

writing_healing“Writing eases my suffering . . . writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence.”  – Gao Xingian

Have you ever asked yourself why is it that people write? Why is it that they feel this urge?

Perhaps they do so because they don’t want to forget. Or maybe because they write differently from what they think, and only in writing do they find the freedom they so desperately need.

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Tainted heart

I was innocent , 

I was pure. 

I believed in love, 

I was sure. 

 

You came along, 

Like a hurricane. 

I did not think twice, 

I took whatever came. 

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Now there is no drizzle, 

There is no rain. 

All that is left is my tainted heart,

All it feels is pain. 

 

Tainted heart is all I have, 

All hopes lost with no dreams. 

Tainted heart is all I have, 

Now even my silence screams. 

 

She knows it all

“Mom, where is my new watch?? I know I kept it here somewhere.” 

“Mom, there is this boy I like. Please tell me what to do.” 

“Mom, I am having a party for some friends. Please tell me how to arrange everything, the food , the music and all.” 

“Mom, I told you not to come to my room. Please don’t touch my stuff!!!!! ” “By the way, you cleaned my room. It actually does look better( embarrassed ) ” 

“Mom, I hate my friends. Nobody understands me . I don’t have anyone. You know what I am talking about right? ” 

All our lives, we ask our mothers several questions. And astonishingly, she always has the answers. She never fails us . No matter how tuff we try to act, how independent we try to be, we always end up asking our mothers for help or advice. She knows it all. If you can’t do anything or find anything, she will definitely know . If you hide anything, she still knows. She is your mother.  You are a part of her. How can she not know? 

It scares me, thinking that one day when I become a mother, will I be half as good as my mother? I better be!!!!! But if I am not, I know where to turn for help. “Mom, can you please help me become a better mom to my kids!! “

She knows it all. 

 

Just Pause!!

It has been a hell of a month. I am at the cusp of two worlds right now. I completed my Post Graduation and now I am about to step into a brand new world- The Real World. Start a job, start earning , paying taxes and managing the household. Wow!!!!! From being a carefree student living in the university with nothing to worry about but the assignments and friends and love lives it’s a drastic change. 

This situation makes me wish I had a remote control for life. So that for once I could just PAUSE. Freeze the moment right there. I realised that when we are having the time of our lives , we don’t actually realise it. Only after that time is gone and we are in a totally different timeline and scenario do we realise , “Damn, those were were the times !! ” 

If I could just pause for a while to soak it all in. To soak all the happiness, the carefree attitude and the innocence.  Soon, stepping in the real world, things will get too real. Life will get messy. And I am sure I wouldn’t want to pause then. So for now, JUST PAUSE !!!!!